Can’t dust the shelf…

I have not blogged for a while for a few reasons. We have had a flu and a cold in this house for the last 3 weeks, I am tired of it! Hopefully on the mend now so we will see. It is also a very stressful time of the month of March as our anniversary was this past Friday and it should also be my first son’s 2nd birthday (Brayden). I have been in an emotional slump for a few days and this has not helped me kick this flu and cold either.

A few days before the 26th, I started fighting with myself about dusting the shelf in our room. The reason why this is such a task is that this is the shelf dedicated to my son. I do not dust it very often as it is very hard for me to do. I beat myself up about it too, feel bad because I let it get so dusty, but know when I do it I will have an emotional breakdown. Needless to say, I still have not dusted the shelf. I really should just do it as I have had a few breakdowns already due to the time of year anyway, but can’t get motivated to do it.

I have been in a slump and no mood to even write or pay much attention to anything else. I am slowly getting out of it now because now I have my daughter’s 4th birthday coming up and I need to get on the ball and start getting ready for it. It least this will help me distract my thoughts and maybe I can move into a happier and healthier direction.

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Lost 28 pounds in 4 months…

I never get on the scale. I have blogged before on how much I hate the scale. I especially hate it when I am working out because it does not give you accurate weight loss because when you gain muscle the numbers will not go down as much.

Today I fought with myself for about 40 minutes and then bit the bullet and hopped on to the scale. I had to be weighed at one of my last doctor’s appointments right before I started this journey around the end of November 2009. So it has been four months.

Here is what my numbers were from August-November 2009:

• Had a baby in august and my weight about 4 hours before I gave birth was 252 pounds. In November at my last appointment I was down to 224 pounds. I did not exercise at all and had toxemia and was on bed rest and an infected c-section scar. The weight loss was simply water loss from the pregnancy.

• Today I weigh 196 pounds. I am actually 8 pounds lighter then I was when I got pregnant last December. I was pretty excited to see the number go less than 200 pounds. I literally got on and off the scale 4 times to make sure it was right, whihoo!

I still have a lot to go but this does give me some more incentive and drive to keep doing what I am doing. I figure that by the time I go out of town for the summer near the end of June I could see another 20 pounds or so gone. This will make my whole summer and then some! Maybe by the end of the summer I will be at my goal weight. Not entirely sure the exact number but I know that for me anywhere from the 160-170’s is healthy for my frame and muscle size.

I really need to get a recent picture posted and will get one on here this week.

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Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred…

So as always I am getting bored of the same thing so I went to the library and checked out Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred DVD. There are 3 work outs on the DVD and each is its own level. I did level 1 today and it was only 27 minutes but oh my land, my arms are still burning, seriously they are hot right now and I quit the work out about 7 minutes ago. I sweat something fierce and feel good. I am going to do one level a week and see how good this is over a 3 week period. So far I really like it. Another bonus is that I got it from the library so it did not cost me anything and I can continue to renew it if I want.
I did take my measurements for better tracking and they are the same as they were the last measurement post that I did.

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Biggest loser is great incentive…

I did do my normal leg and arm weight exercise today and was not up to doing anything else until I sat down to watch the biggest loser. I have to say that it made me feel really guilty that I was sitting on the couch so I got up and jogged in front of the TV for 15 min. I would have gone longer but my calves are burning from all the weights I did on my legs earlier so I quit at 15 minutes.

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Temporary lapse…

So I was not so good last night. I went over to a friend’s house to play games and had food frenzy. On a good note, I did eat a whole plate of fresh fruit, but that is not all I ate. I had chips, bugles, cake, and Sloppy Joes. I guess going to a get together, while PMSing is very hard on the will power and I lost mine for a few hours.

Oh well, I am back on the wagon today and worked out a bit more than usual today to help make up for some of the extra calories. I definitely not work out enough for all the extra calories but better than not working out at all.

I am still PMSing today and want to eat all day but I am doing better not giving in.

I am not going to beat myself up as I had a good time and am glad that I got to get together with Heidi as we don’t see a lot of each other and I think she is awesome. Thanks for the night Heidi!

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Will power…

I have posted this on both my blogs because I think it fits nicely in both of them.  I don’t typically post the same thing on both but decided to today.

So I was thinking about this for the last couple days…will power. I have been told, and have said to others before, “I don’t or I do have the will power to do something. “ My mind has been questioning and pondering this statement for a while and this is what I have come up with, well this is what makes sense in my head anyway.

Is will power specific to each and everything in our life or is our will power one overall power? I am leaning more and more towards ONE, not a multiple power.

I have been changing my eating and exercise habits a lot over the past few months. I have been told by many people “I just don’t have the will power like you to change mine.” I use to believe that I did not have the will power either.

As individuals we have different personalities and different habits and I think that will power is more of a values and personality thing. I have the “will power” to not kill everyone that pisses me off or wrongs me, I have the “will power” to not steal when I go into the store so why is my will power different when it comes to my body and eating? I am starting to believe that it is not different. I obviously do have the will power because I am losing weight and changing my eating habits now, I am just finally using it. I really think that all people with a conscious and those that strive to better themselves in any way at all have the will power, but it is just a choice whether or not to use it.

I think that we like to use the excuse of “I don’t have the will power” because we become afraid to start something that is different. I also think that a lot of people are prone to being scared of failure and that causes the excuse as well. I know that I am a perfectionist when it comes to myself and this has definitely been a reason for me to be lacking in the healthy environment I am engaging in now because I was scared to fail and have to admit failure.

I am now finding it real easy to keep my power strong and keep up with the exercise and eating right because I am seeing results and liking myself more so it is making me excited and satisfied to see my results.

Every individual holds the power to do anything they want to do

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Will power…

So I was thinking about this for the last couple days…will power. I have been told, and have said to others before, “I don’t or I do have the will power to do something. “ My mind has been questioning and pondering this statement for a while and this is what I have come up with, well this is what makes sense in my head anyway.

Is will power specific to each and everything in our life or is our will power one overall power? I am leaning more and more towards ONE, not a multiple power.

I have been changing my eating and exercise habits a lot over the past few months. I have been told by many people “I just don’t have the will power like you to change mine.” I use to believe that I did not have the will power either.

As individuals we have different personalities and different habits and I think that will power is more of a values and personality thing. I have the “will power” to not kill everyone that pisses me off or wrongs me, I have the “will power” to not steal when I go into the store so why is my will power different when it comes to my body and eating? I am starting to believe that it is not different. I obviously do have the will power because I am losing weight and changing my eating habits now, I am just finally using it. I really think that all people with a conscious and those that strive to better themselves in any way at all have the will power, but it is just a choice whether or not to use it.

I think that we like to use the excuse of “I don’t have the will power” because we become afraid to start something that is different. I also think that a lot of people are prone to being scared of failure and that causes the excuse as well. I know that I am a perfectionist when it comes to myself and this has definitely been a reason for me to be lacking in the healthy environment I am engaging in now because I was scared to fail and have to admit failure.

I am now finding it real easy to keep my power strong and keep up with the exercise and eating right because I am seeing results and liking myself more so it is making me excited and satisfied to see my results.

Every individual holds the power to do anything they want to do!

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Husband can surprise me…

So I gripe a lot about my husband so I thought I would post something good too. The other night I am not sure what got into him but it was nice.

I had stripped our bed linens and flipped the mattress and I always ask him to pull the pad and fitted sheet on for me because the sheets fit so tight and he is a lot stronger so he gets them pulled on better so they stay longer. He does not always make the whole bed for me and I end up doing it but the other night he totally made the entire bed without me asking and was helping out around the house. He was putting up things that have been waiting a long time, fixing the cars, brushing Rae’s teeth and getting her ready for bed. I usually have to bug him to do these things and the other night he just did it.

I made sure I told him how much I appreciated everything because I wanted him to know that I noticed and was appreciative. I think it is important to compliment and not just criticize and then maybe I will see it happen more.

It sure was nice. It is the little things that mean a lot sometimes.

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LOST 2 ¼ inches in 3 weeks and 8 ¾ inches since November…

I am so excited to see this loss!
2-27-10              NOW            Loss/Gain
Bust: 43 ½          43                  L- ½ in.
Waist: 45            44                  L- 1 in.
Hips: 47 ½          47 ¼              L- ¼ in.
Thigh (1): 27       26 ¾              L- ¼ in.
Arm: 13              12 ¾              L- ¼ in.

Total LOSS in 19 days = 2 ¼ inches.

November 2009      NOW       Loss/Gain
Bust: 44                   43             L- 1 in.
Waist: 48                 44             L- 4 in.
Hips: 49                   47 ¼         L- 1 ¾ in.
Thigh (1): 28            26 ¾         L- 1 ¼ in.
Upper arm:  13        12 ¾         L- ¼

Total LOSS since November 2009 = 8 ¾ inches Whihoo!!!!

I have been using NO machines, NO diets pills. I have been using the cheap arm and leg weights (5 lbs each) and jogging in front of the TV and doing Pilates moves with them in front of the TV for 30-40 minutes. I have been getting a lot of compliments on losing weight so I thought I would break down and measure. I am glad I did as this made my whole day, whiohoo!!

I also have been using an ab-roller wheel. Got it for $9.99 at target and it is hard at first but can feel it work my stomach really fast. It is also strengthening my shoulders and arm muscles big time.

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Emotional battle can be harder than the physical…

I am a firm believer that stress can also be a big inhibitor on weight loss. I know for a fact that I tend to add on an extra 5-10 pounds of weight just by stressing out, especially about my weight. I also think that I would be losing my weight a little faster if I could get over my mental fight with my body.

Some things I am going to try and do better:

• Quit beating myself up if I have a bad day with food or exercise. I know that every day cannot be a perfect days and life happens. I can get back on the wagon the next day. If I let myself get too frustrated and upset about a little mishap than this can turn into what I like to call a “negative fountain” and this will overflow into the rest of the week and then month, etc and then I have to start from scratch again. If I can stop that fountain at day one and get back on track then it never has to overflow the rest of my goal and I can keep on the right track.

• Quit comparing myself to every other skinny woman I see every day. I do this a lot and this is a big killer for me. I need to remember that I am one person and one day I will have other woman looking at me and wishing they could be healthy like me too.

• Quit social eating. I need to start planning ahead if I know that I am going to be somewhere that is going to be a temptation to eat a lot of bad food. One thing I can do is maybe eating a healthy meal before I go to that gathering that is going to have a lot of bad food. Then maybe I won’t snack so much on the bad food and just have 1 or 2 small snacks that won’t take a whole 5 days to work off later. Then maybe I won’t beat myself up so bad for having a binging night if I don’t go out hungry.

• Quit feeling guilty about saying “NO.” I tend feel guilty when I have to constantly say no to bad foods when people ask but I have been doing better. It is funny and sad that this actually has to be a problem. It is strange that we think that we need to constantly feed people for them to be happy in our house right? I think that as a society it would be nice if we did not gear everything we do around food. This would probably help a lot of us lose weight if we did not eat socially all the time.

These are just a few things that I can think of right now, so this is where I will start.

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