I just can’t shake it!

I hope you will share!

I know I am not alone with how I feel about the CT shooting that happened this month. I know this is not the first school shooting, and most likely won’t be the last, but this one…I can’t shake.

I guess it’s because I have a first grader and it hit way to close to home.

I don’t understand how anyone feels they have the right to take any life, but a child’s life? It has made me sick.I am not able to sleep well. My eating is all messed up. I am either so sick to my stomach I can’t eat and then the next day I can’t eat enough. My emotions are everywhere. All I keep picturing is those poor kids, and teacher’s and what the hell must have looked like for those few minutes.

I look at my presents under the tree for my 3 and 6-year old and I wonder how many parents, who lost a child, look at their presents,  knowing that it will always be Christmas in their house.

I keep getting that 11-days before Christmas e-mail from others and I know the intention is good but I cannot read it anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to feel compassion for those children and families, but rather, it is just too hard to take it all in…still.

My daughter has been sick for the passed two days and I have had to keep her home form school. Quite frankly, there is a huge part of me that is glad she is sick. For days I worried myself sick while she was at school. Wondering if I was going to be in those CT parents shoes someday. I had a sigh of relief when I would go pick her up in-line and was able to hug my child again.

Tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break and I wonder if she will feel good enough to go to school. Again, a big part of me wishes she is still sick.

I know it’s not healthy, I know I need to still live, my children need to live. It is just so hard and I can’t deny the emotions that are running through my body.

I have seriously considered home schooling more then ever. I know I can’t shelter them from everything but with all the crap, and failed education we are seeing int he schools, more and more consistently, I don’t think it is a bad idea.

I want to give a huge hug to all those families that lost a child or another loved one in that school that day. I can’t even believe to imagine the terror I would feel if it were one of my children.

Why does this world have to be filled with so much evil?

I don’t believe that banning guns is the issue and I will have many disagree. Good lord, there is so many illegal things and look how they are still on the streets. I don’t only want the bad people to own guns, I want all those bad people to know that us good people are able to defend ourselves. What I think is ridiculous is that people don’t store and keep things where the kids cannot get them.

If you have a gun, lock it up and put it up HIGH and don’t tell kids where it is at. Don’t think your child is not capable, because no-one wants to believe that their child is capable, but look at what is happening more and more. If you see you child change and not get better then don’t be too proud to ask for professional help. If your child is mad at you fr this…who cares, there are worse things. If you don’t want o give your kids the attention they need or you feel like they take up too much time then don’t have kids. (not saying that the CT shooters mom was like this, it is just a general statement).

It is so not fair that we have to send our kids to school in fear. It is not fair that we can’t even have our kids play in a park, outside, or anywhere without worrying about some loser trying to get them and/or hurt them.

I am so tired of all the crap that has to go on and I have no remorse for those that do these awful things. it’s not that I wanted the shooter to live but in a way I kind of wanted him too because he is a coward and he needed to be held accountable. I know he is now, but there is no explanation or anything and we are all left with damaged hearts and fear…

I could go on…but it won’t help me “shake it.”

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48 thoughts on “I just can’t shake it!

  1. I know what u mean I can’t either it’s so sad. My heart goes out to all the victims and their families.

  2. This sad situation has broken my heart! I can’t imagine what those poor children have gone through! My mind is still trying to process it! So so so sad. This will have me scared for my children for years to come!

  3. i’m in the same position like you, hope that we can find solution for this, it is to much life to be waste

  4. This is so, so sad!!! My prayers are with all of the families!! It has to be even more difficult with it being Christmas!! My heart goes out to all of them!!

  5. I don’t understand this about how a sick boy kills his mother and takes her guns and shoots innocent people plus kids to death.
    What kind of world do we live in?

  6. This was such a horrible event and I feel so sad for the ones effected. Something needs to be done. Avg people do not need assault weapons

  7. I am still horrified and deeply saddened by what occurred. It is such a sad world that we live in and it scares me to death every time my daughter walks out the door! I just don’t understand how someone could have such a disregard for life. I pray for the families, students, teachers, and the community every day because that is really all I can do.

  8. I agree with you on the gun banning part. It is somewhat helpful, but it will not solve the problem. There were shootings at areas where guns are banned. With the law, the shootings still occurred. I don’t know why these events were not shared with the general public more.

  9. I just don’t know what is going through people’s minds when they do this & hurt such innocent people its a shame :(

  10. ugh. I had a hard time coping with this too. It’s a little easier now but the first few days I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I have a first grader too. I didn’t tell her what happened and I probably won’t for a very long time. So sad and so close to Christmas…

  11. I haven’t been able to shake it either. I don’t think I ever will. I don’t know what the answer is, but I do think that mental health issues have been put on the back burner for far too long and funding is always taken from there first. That could be a start. And regulating ammunition. We don’t need a huge clip and we don’t need military type gums and ammo for every day.

  12. I’m am still in mourning over this tradgey. When they read the list of names they said Madeline and my heart just hit the floor. That is my nieces name and all of a sudden I thought…OMG…if this could happen…it could even happen to her. I started balling all over again!

  13. I don’t know what the answer is, but some kind of reform is needed. If Sudafed can be regulated, so can ammunition.

  14. One of the worst tragedies anyone can imagine and experience. I feel for the families.

    The shooter obviously was mentally ill. No one in their right mind would do something so horrendous. As the weeks ahead unfold we will learn more about the story.

  15. You are so right. Taking away guns will not keep evil people from finding them. It’s so sad what today’s children and families must face daily, knowing that something like this may happen. I don’t recall hearing things like this back when my son was in school… like 20 years or so ago. Makes me think if I had a young child these days, I’d consider home schooling.

  16. I cannot imagine the pain the families are feeling. I hate to say it (and I’m sure I will be blasted for it) but this is one more reason I am glad I homeschool my children. Obviously children can be harmed anywhere but it seems schools are being targeted more and more these days. I guess it is easier to seeks out and harm the weak & innocent but what sick sense of satisfaction does a perp obtain from that? :(

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