I was having a very horrible week a few weeks back and everything seemed to be “against me.” Let me step back…it all started when I let stress take over my head and the insomnia kicked in at full force.
There was the moving stress of needing to pack, unpack and clean the old and the new place. The stress was also added when my husbands job changed. It changed for the better but it still adds stress. There was stress with me needing to get my new dance class underway and make it a success so I could get it into the Fall curriculum. There was stress over money…normal.
So what did I add to this…everything!
I know that in the past I have kicked my insomnia when I have changed my attitude but it is funny how I can still forget that and get back into a negative routine. I let all the above stress get to me. Guess what happened when I did that…everything!
* The kids were driving me crazy faster then normal and I found myself yelling a lot more. Did this make them behave better…NO, actually made it worse and it was one vicious circle.
* I was constantly in a bad mood and bitchy and everything I touched broke. I mowed the lawn, the handle broke off. I yelled at the microwave and it blew up…literally caught fire. Complained that the computer we had hooked up to the TV was a peace of shit…no lie the computer froze all the time and the TV just died, and we had to throw the 55 inch away and hook up another computer.
* I was fighting with the hubby constantly, crying, feeling over whelmed and just plain pissed off at him all the time.
I thought everything was over, my patience, my brain, my energy…over!
Now all this did not happen in one day but it did happen within a 3-4 day time-span. It felt like all in one day though. So now I had to do something. Was it to keep on bitching and let everything else fall apart or to get back on track with my journey and just get over my selfish self and move on from the negative. I chose option 2…move on.
What I have learned is that kids do not really react well to constant yelling and screaming. Positive energy does not come around when negative is flowing in too rapidly. I had to take those other 3 fingers pointing at myself when I was blaming everything else and figure out what I was accountable for…that was a lot.
It did not happen over night but I did pray…no I don’t go to church but I really am a lot more spiritual then a lot of people that do go every week. I talked positive to myself. I apologized to my family, hubby and kids. They needed to hear that I knew I was acting wrong, that is an important step.
I started to breathe again and just kept telling myself “what is meant to happen will happen and I need to just go with it. After about a month of this, I am seeing tons more positive energy back and things are picking up. Our new business, our home, or finances, my part time work. THEN…I did it again!
I stumbled. I did something I am not proud of…not overly terrible, but brought some negative vibes in and BAM the good stopped for about 4 days. This time I knew it immediately and at that point I could not take back what I did but I had to reap the benefits…or the lack of benefits. But I did, I apologized and made myself accountable and I am not lying, the day I made myself accountable for my actions and my bad karma, we got 2 sales within 10 minutes on our website (a-znutrients.com) and then an hour later a third one. I was able to start back on to my positive law of attraction a lot earlier this time.
So if you ever think that “this is not going to hurt anyone, no one will know” ya right, you know and so does your energy!
Anyway, that has been my last 4-6 weeks. You would think that after so many slaps in the face with learning the positive law of attraction I would be done with these lessons…not yet. But the fact is that now I can change my karma a lot faster because I know how to do it.
Have a wonderfully positive day.