Something we have started in our house over the last year is taking the “but” out. Let me explain.
You know when you are upset at someone and you say “I love you but…?” The but, to me, should not be part of any statement where love is involved. How about, “I love you very much, and am a little frustrated with you because you are not…” Take the “but” out, because love does not have a but, in my opinion.
My daughter has finally gotten used to this and she will catch me when I slip and say it to. I have also been trying very hard to start out with a positive before I say a negative. I do not get it all the time, but I get better every day. I like to start with, “I love you,” or “You are so smart,” You are so beautiful.” You get the point. Then I lose the “but” and try to reword it another way.
When it comes to me loving my family, there is never a but!
Have a good one!
View Comments (6)
I never paid attention to the word, now you have me thinking. Will keep you posted.
Oh how true this is!!!!! I received training in effective listening and communicating...the word "but" negates everything in front of it!! The listener only focuses on what comes after the "but". I had to really work on getting "but" out of all my conversations especially when speaking to a child.
Deb
That is a great post Tawna. I am afraid I was a horrible Mother.... although my Daughter turned out very well. I am sure I gave her a lot of complexes. Hopefully she understands Motherhood comes with no How To Book.
Guess what!! I finally got this in the email today. I wonder why it takes so long.
wow I do not know how many times I have said this...but is like saying I would love you more if...I hate it
In our house we are trying to get my youngest to stop saying "I hate you" all the time and say instead "I'm angry because..." or "I'm upset because ..." or whatever. I am new follower. Visit my daughter and I at our blog, Says Me Says Mom (http://saysmesaysmom.blogspot.com where we talk about anything and everything.