My heart was just not into it…

As you have noticed I have not had a blog post in over a week. My heart was just not into it, as it has been somewhere else. It still is a bit, but I am slowly getting out of my rut.

Someone very dear to me passed away last week and it has hit me pretty hard. She was a big motivation for me to write and share my thoughts, and I guess, in a way, I felt kind of “guilty” for posting.I know it may sound crazy to some but it has been a tough struggle. As I sit here and write, it is everything I can do to make myself not stop and shut the computer. I did not see her all the time but she was someone that was very dear to my heart. We lived about 2000 miles away from each other but talked often (weekly) and spent quality time together once a year.

This woman was my Aunt and she lived in Canada. My visits always entailed in games with her and my Grandma and family reunions. I have another Aunt who is also very dear to me and the three together…are my Canada. Now it feels like there is a big hole and I don’t know what Canada is going to feel like for me anymore.

I still have my Aunt and my Grandma and tons of cousins but you know when a big part is gone, it  takes a lot to make it feel like home again. I am really going to miss her…I really DO miss her. She was a wonderful person.

I did get to see her in August and say good bye. I knew it was happening but it was still hard to hear. Since I chose to see her back in August I knew I would not be able to go to the funeral…which was today.

A letter to my Aunt-

Aunt J: You were a wonderful friend and a wonderful person. You will be so missed by so many, especially by me. Canada won’t be the same without you and I will miss all those fund Rook and Crib games we played together. I appreciate everything you ever did for me and am truly grateful for being able to know the wonderful person you were and inspire me to be.

Love you

Tawna

My Journey to a Healthier me blog posts: Worrying about the future, too much, is not going to help!