You know…I have to fess up that I still have a huge yelling problem. I have been trying to work on this but it has been one of my biggest downfalls and hardest things to change. I get so frustrated and my 5 year old gets more and more argumentative every day and I just find myself yelling at her more then I like to admit.
I know…these are all excuses and the fact of the matter is that I just need to stop. So any suggestions on how to go about this? My guess is that my 5 year old just has my personality, which is rather bossy and argumentative. Now how do I go about changing that in me so I can see the change in her before she gets too old and its too late!
I know…these are all excuses and the fact of the matter is that I just need to stop. So any suggestions on how to go about this? My guess is that my 5 year old just has my personality, which is rather bossy and argumentative. Now how do I go about changing that in me so I can see the change in her before she gets too old and its too late!
I need to get a handle on this because you can’t be positive when you are yelling!
Thanks for coming by and in advance for any help/suggestions you have!
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1 2 Next »Try this exercise.
When ever you have a situation that you feel like you are about to yell do this little exercise in your head allowing yourself few seconds before you start the yelling. Ask yourself:
• Why am I about to yell to my kid?
• Is it because something he did or is it because something that happened to me today and I am transferring my frustration, anger, stress, personal feelings, etc, to the situation?
• If it is because something that has nothing to do with your kid maybe you should address that issue first. Maybe you are just hungry or tired or you simply had a bad day. Believe me, it happens to me too.
• If on the other hand you are about to yell because of something your kid did then ask yourself, is yelling at him going to change his behaviour? Has yelling worked in the past? How do you feel when you yell? If I don’t yell this time what other behaviour could I use to deal with this situation? Have I ever done anything different than yelling that has had some positive reaction in my kid? If so, would it be worth trying it this time?
I hope this serves you for reflection. Sometimes knowing why we yell helps us to find a solution. Sometimes we realize we are the reason why the whole thing started anyway and the solution is to avoid getting to the point where we have to yell. I hope you find a solution to your yelling, you obviously are concern enough when you are sharing it with us.
Hi, thanks for stopping by! I love the idea behind this blog. I too struggle with thinking positive, however I am working on more mindfulness every day and love how much better the simple action of thinking positive makes me feel so much better emotionally and physically. Keep a chin up :)
Your newest follower as well :)
Anna
I think we're all guilty of this sometimes. The more you practice mindfullness, the less often it occurs. I can't say it will never happen, but it will decrease. My daughter is 15 so I certainly understand the argument factor, talking about pushing it! OMG! I often have to follow my own breath to make it out with my sanity!
Love this blog! I have a book blog where I often post the motivational blurbs that I write to an email audience daily. Feel free to stop by:
http://www.thewritetomakealiving.com
Hey! Found your blog from the Weekend Blog Hop! You've got a great blog here, I love it! Happy new follower :).
http://www.marleeindebt.blogspot.com
Hello, I found you via The Weekend Blog Hop and I am now following you. Please visit my blog and follow me back! : ) http://www.ssmandhersidekids.blogspot.com
I really loved reading this post. I think as the kids get older things get easier. Now when I yell they look at me as if I am nuts, because.. well, yelling does not work.. ever. It only causes YOU more stress and it causes the kids to be fearful of you.
I am working on my yelling too, am your newest follower, following back from wkend hop.
Cent$ To Me
It is so hard not to yell!
I just found your blog through the Swingin by Sunday blog hop! Can't wait to read more. Have a great week.
Amanda @ http://www.nutritionistreviews.com
Thanks for following back. I posted the giveaway, here is the link:
http://giveawayobsession.blogspot.com/2011/05/ending-june-1.html
I'd be great if your friend could stop by and follow my blog too! Thanks!
Hi honey,
Returning the follow from the weekend bloghops. Am now following all three of your sites and am way impressed with them all.
Have a great day,
Christine Senter
http://sapheyerblu.blogspot.com
You know my mother was very big on yelling as well. What's strange is that I developed the exact opposite trait. I've been known to be silently passive-agressive. Also not good. I've been trying to teach myself to speak up for myself rather than quietly poisoning somebody's coffee. Okay, I don't really poison people's coffee, but you get the point, haha.