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I had a lot of great comments from a lot of you lovely readers and they did help me a ton! This is what I have done over the past few days.
I sat my daughter down the day after I wrote this post (it needed to be on a calm day when we were not already fighting). I asked her if we could “make a deal” and she said “OK Mommy, what is a deal?” I chuckled and told her this:
“If you do not argue with Mommy when I ask you to do something then I promise I will not yell anymore, does that sound good?”
She said “Yes.”
I also told her how sorry I was for yelling so much and that I do not like it when I yell and will try very hard to stop. I then told her how much I loved her and how beautiful and perfect she is. I said, “sometimes we get into fights and that is not fun is it?”
She said, “Mom, it scares me when you yell and makes me sad.”
Oh my, did I feel like a crappy Mom at that point. I hugged her and told her that she did not deserve me yelling at her. I then said “do we have a deal?”
She said “yes!”
Over the past few days, I have to admit that there has been twice I started yelling and I stopped, took in a deep breath, and preceded to talk to her in a calmer voice.
For the most part, when she is not listening to me I simply have said, “Rae, remember our deal?”
She will then say, “Yes, Mom,” and 9/10 times she let’s out a big sigh and says “I will listen.”
It has been much better. I love that we are not fighting as much. We are definitely a work in progress but definitely working in the right direction!
Thanks for visiting me today! I hope you all have a very positive, yelling free day!
This bought tears to my eyes. You're a great mom by the sounds of it. Following from the hop – reach me athttp://wordsinsync.blogspot.com – Shah. X
Yes, I agree Time4Mommy. It is hard because it's worth it, being a parent is the hardest job. However, you get out of it so much more than you put in. It is just realizing that after you have overcome these tiny obstacles, you can become best friends with your children.
Yes, I agree Time4Mommy. It is hard because it's worth it, being a parent is the hardest job. However, you get out of it so much more than you put in. It is just realizing that after you have overcome these tiny obstacles, you can become best friends with your children.
It's hard, really hard. I'm still working at it. I have two that want to argue. But like Allister said, I'm being proactive.
Congrats! I think you and your dd will both enjoy this more 🙂
It is well that we explain and try not to scream while she tries to listen and respond. Unfortunately, there are many children who have formed a wrong character, screaming, are rebels, reacts so violently that they saw the parents. we are models for them, and you know it, and they get copied.
I wish you much patience, wisdom can overcome heavier moments with a smile and your child to grow up healthy, physically, both in mind and soul.
awesome! I'm going to try this as well.
That is so nice that you and your daughter could sit down and talk! That is a great step forward.
I think the first step is to acknowledge that there are frustrations coming up and then think "if that is really how I want to be and give my energy away like this" the answer will probably be no. It is always better to be proactive than reactive.