Random Thoughts

If you follow my other blogs at all you will know that my son has been the sleepless monkey for the last couple weeks and I feel tired! I have been still working out though but it is hard.

I had to laugh because both were engrossed in the TV when I got the pictures. My daughter was even sitting like I do. She has hot chocolate though,not coffee of course and my son…it took 3 pictures and me standing in front of him for him to even notice I was there. That is his Dad to a “T!”

I don’t complain about this because we have become a pretty active family in the last year so our kids actually sit on the couch a whole lot less then before and most of the time we are running and playing. This is too funny to see little mini me’s.

Thanks for reading today!
Have a wonderful Wednesday, it’s hump day!
Tawna

From this

TO THIS

Images from photobucket

Here are a couple thoughts for the day. And because it’s my blog of course my opinion and my journey is always attached:) LOL

Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible. –Charles Caleb Colton

We often spend so much time coping with problems along our path that we only have a dim or even inaccurate view of what’s really important to us. –Peter Senge

I love these quotes that I find because they are all very close to home for me. As i have mentioned before I was a good one at always playing the “victim” so I did not have to take responsibility for a lot of things in my life. I think that this goes hand in hand with the second quote I put on here. If we are always playing the victim then would it not make sense that we are problem focuses too? If all we do is focus on what is wrong then how can we ever see what is good.

This is MAJOR in my journey. This alone has changed my world almost a full 360 degree turn!
 
Have a positively positive day everyone!
 
Tawna

My dear son:

You have chosen not to sleep for the past 2 weeks and it is making Mommy very tired. Last night being up at 2:30-6:00am was not the  best time for Mommy to be a Mom, I was/am tired. It is a good thing God made you so sweet and cute because I will take sleepless nights so I can hold my beautiful baby boy, even if I am half asleep doing it.

Just think, if I was not blessed with children then I would be rested but lonely. God has blessed me with beautiful children. I may be slpeepy but I am happy and loved!

Now dear Brahnan, I will not give you a nap today. Can you please sleep tonight?

Love Mom!

Have a wonderful day everyone!
Tawna

DOWN THE  

There have been 3 times in the last 7 days that I have found out that my payments towards some of my medical bills were being paid into a big pool and not to my accounts.

I have collections on 2 of the 3. One was suppose to be on a payment plan and I did not know for the last 17 months it was NOT.
I have received NOTHING in the mail at all, not even a bill. I just assumed I must have signed up for paperless bills so I did not worry about it. I knew the amount was going to take me a long time to pay off so I just let it go.

Another doctor changed who takes his payments and my checks were getting forwarded to, who knows where. No one can find them. Third account, well I paid it in full and got a collecitons letter today. Called, research etc and found that it is just going to the hospitals big pool. Not credited to any account in particular just the hospitals bank account. My information is on the checks including my acccount number so I ask “What is the problem?!”

Just thought I would spread the word to my fellow friends. Make sure you check the status of your accounts constantly! Open EVERY letter and read everything. You never know if you have or will be in the same boat as me.

My credit score is down a ton because of one of the hospital accounts in particular and it should not be affecting me negative at all. Now I am fighting to get it off my credit and act like it was never there. How easy do you think that is…NOT!

Have a wonderful day everyone! Happy bill paying!!! ha ha!

Tawna

Here are a couple today!
The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands but seeing with new eyes. –Marcel Proust

The sense of wonder—that is our sixth sense. –D.H. Lawrence

Have you ever gone somewhere, that you have been to a million times, with someone new, and they have showed you something you have NEVER seen before?

We all do this, especially ME! I remember quite a few years back, when I lived in Utah, we would go to Lagoon (an amusement park) a few times a year. I got pretty bored of it because it was not new to me anymore.

One trip did change that. My friend has a foreign exchange student from Yugoslavia and she had NEVER seen anything like Lagoon before. From the second we walked into the park, until the last minute we were there, her eyes were as big as the sun and she took in EVERYTHING. I have to tell you that this day at Lagoon was the absolute best day I have ever had at any amusement park.

Everything was “wow, this I cannot believe,” wow, I cold never dream this!” There were more things she said too but those were the ones I remember right now.

I felt like I had taken a small child for the first time to Disneyland. It was so stinking fun.

I truly believe that we tend to forget to see all the new and exciting things out there in the world that are right in front of our faces every day. Have you noticed and almost everyone hates where they live? Do you hear as often as I do “Why would you move here, I can’t wait to get out?!” I did this with Utah and I did leave. I miss it, there are a lot of great things in Utah I miss and I chose to look past when I was there. Was it the state for me? No, but I would say that there are a ton of beautiful reasons to live there. My eyes have opened up in this journey and I am willing to see the good in front of me every day.

Let’s not take things for granted and enjoy life with wide open eyes and gratitude!

Have a positively positive day!

Tawna

It may have been a slip of the tongue but after my daughter said this it made me think, hmmmm what a better name to call it! This is just one of those totally random thoughts of the day!

We were driving to my friends house on our anniversary to drop the kids off at my friends house so we could go out to dinner. My daughter, who will be 5 in 2 weeks, said “Mom, why is the Fee Way always so crowded. My husband and I both chimed in “honey it’s a Free way, not a Fee way.” Then the light bulb went off in my head!

OK so there has been construction on this freeway since 2001 as far as I know and I am sure there has been construction on it before then too. It seems that they do something to it and then as soon as they are done they start all over again!

We have freeways that are toll roads, hence the fee! So this is my thinking process. If our taxes keep paying for us to drive on slow crowded free ways, and we have to pay to drive on other free ways, wouldn’t Fee Way be a better name? Seriously….I think I am going to start calling them Fee Ways!

OK there you go! Like I said, it may have just been slip of the tongue but you know, it sure does make sense!!

Have a great Monday everyone!
Tawna

BUT NOT BY ME! I have been doing it for 9 weeks and am almost crept up to 10 pounds but my hubby has been doing it for 5 weeks and is down 10 pounds. One side of me says WHIHOO awesome babe! The other side says “WTF, I have been doing it for 9 where is my 20!”


OK, OK I know…support Tawna, I am!

Reality now:
I have lost about 50 pounds since my journey started and I do not have as much weight to lose as my husband so my weight is coming off slower. This is why I do not go by scales as my first mode of satisfaction anyway, I do measurements and I HAVE lost a good amount so far in inches. I also notice my clothes fit loser and I feel good so I will quit whining now!

I can start to see some muscle definition which I LOVE, and I am seeing it before my hubby so I WIN! Ha! LOL. I know it is not a competition but maybe in a way it is a little …right?! This is why the scale is not going down and I know that because muscle is more dense then fat so of course I will not lose on the scale when I am gaining strong muscle mass!

Looking into the future of the P90X journey and all our other healthy and weigh loss journeys I know that we will both hit our goal and stay there and that is the big picture.

This whole 10 pound thing does not really make me upset, I am just playing with my hubs about it.

Have any of you seen that commercial where the woman says “My husband and I decided to eat salads when we go out to dinner and my husband now looks like this (he goes from fat to thin) and I look like this ( she goes from fat with large boobs to fat with NO boobs)? This whole 10 pound thing just made me think of that commercial!

Anyway, I am proud of m hubby’s 10 pound loss and even prouder of my 50+ loss and the fact that I WILL be a P90X grad and live to tell about it!

Have a wonderfully HEALTHY Day everyone!
Now onto Plyometrics-jump training!
Tawna
For ALL your Beachbody questions or for ordering products visit here!

Today is mine and my husbands 6th anniversary. It is a very special day indeed for many reasons and it is also the hardest day of the year.

Three years ago on this day in 2008 we had a beautiful baby boy which we named Brayden. We loved hims so much and we got to enjoy him for an hour before he left hits world and became our very special Angel. I was 23 weeks and 3 days pregnant the day he was born so we knew it was a long shot that we would be able to keep him on earth with us, and we did not win that battle.

Every day we think of him so every day I yearn to hold him again but March 26 is the hardest indeed as I can not help but think “I should be throwing a big birthday party today for my son.” Then the tears flow and so many motions beyond belief come crashing down on me. this is truly the hardest day for me to stay on y positive journey.

I have so much guilt when I feel sad because if Brayden would have stayed with us, then we would not have our wonderful baby boy Brahnan. We knew we wold stop at two children and if Brayden would have lived then Brahnan would never have been born. I could never imagine not having him and this eats at me when I yearn for my first son. It is an ongoing roller coaster that is seriously impossible to get off of, so it seems.

I am grateful every day for all three of my children. My daughter knows about her brother as we have never thought to keep it from her. so today’s decision takes it toll…..Should we celebrate his birthday today?

My daughter has been wanting to make a cake and sing happy birthday to her brother in heaven. She is always very sincere when she talks about him and this is something I just did not know if I could do or not. I have had a handful of friends in my life, which have gone through this same experience, and they tell me that they celebrate their child’s birthday every year as it makes the day more of a celebration than a mournful one.

I have the ingredients out to make a cake and I jsut don’t know if I have it in my today to do it. I am trying, but it is the hardest moment for me in my life and I am trying desperately to find the strength to celebrate today.

Anyway, it has helped to sit down and write it out. I am not sure what today’s outcome will bring. I know for a fact that I am blessed and that I am lucky to have three kids to love! I jsut wish all three were healthy and here for me to smother with hugs and kisses and joy!

Have a great day everyone!

Tawna