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    Categories: Random Thoughts

I just can’t shake it!

I hope you will share!

I know I am not alone with how I feel about the CT shooting that happened this month. I know this is not the first school shooting, and most likely won’t be the last, but this one…I can’t shake.

I guess it’s because I have a first grader and it hit way to close to home.

I don’t understand how anyone feels they have the right to take any life, but a child’s life? It has made me sick.I am not able to sleep well. My eating is all messed up. I am either so sick to my stomach I can’t eat and then the next day I can’t eat enough. My emotions are everywhere. All I keep picturing is those poor kids, and teacher’s and what the hell must have looked like for those few minutes.

I look at my presents under the tree for my 3 and 6-year old and I wonder how many parents, who lost a child, look at their presents,  knowing that it will always be Christmas in their house.

I keep getting that 11-days before Christmas e-mail from others and I know the intention is good but I cannot read it anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to feel compassion for those children and families, but rather, it is just too hard to take it all in…still.

My daughter has been sick for the passed two days and I have had to keep her home form school. Quite frankly, there is a huge part of me that is glad she is sick. For days I worried myself sick while she was at school. Wondering if I was going to be in those CT parents shoes someday. I had a sigh of relief when I would go pick her up in-line and was able to hug my child again.

Tomorrow is the last day before Christmas break and I wonder if she will feel good enough to go to school. Again, a big part of me wishes she is still sick.

I know it’s not healthy, I know I need to still live, my children need to live. It is just so hard and I can’t deny the emotions that are running through my body.

I have seriously considered home schooling more then ever. I know I can’t shelter them from everything but with all the crap, and failed education we are seeing int he schools, more and more consistently, I don’t think it is a bad idea.

I want to give a huge hug to all those families that lost a child or another loved one in that school that day. I can’t even believe to imagine the terror I would feel if it were one of my children.

Why does this world have to be filled with so much evil?

I don’t believe that banning guns is the issue and I will have many disagree. Good lord, there is so many illegal things and look how they are still on the streets. I don’t only want the bad people to own guns, I want all those bad people to know that us good people are able to defend ourselves. What I think is ridiculous is that people don’t store and keep things where the kids cannot get them.

If you have a gun, lock it up and put it up HIGH and don’t tell kids where it is at. Don’t think your child is not capable, because no-one wants to believe that their child is capable, but look at what is happening more and more. If you see you child change and not get better then don’t be too proud to ask for professional help. If your child is mad at you fr this…who cares, there are worse things. If you don’t want o give your kids the attention they need or you feel like they take up too much time then don’t have kids. (not saying that the CT shooters mom was like this, it is just a general statement).

It is so not fair that we have to send our kids to school in fear. It is not fair that we can’t even have our kids play in a park, outside, or anywhere without worrying about some loser trying to get them and/or hurt them.

I am so tired of all the crap that has to go on and I have no remorse for those that do these awful things. it’s not that I wanted the shooter to live but in a way I kind of wanted him too because he is a coward and he needed to be held accountable. I know he is now, but there is no explanation or anything and we are all left with damaged hearts and fear…

I could go on…but it won’t help me “shake it.”

I LUV Sharing!

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View Comments (48)

  • no you are not alone, i don't think anyone would think such a thing would go through a young person mind to do something like this or anyone but it did .. it sickens me , my heart aches my stomach in knots.. I just don't understand ..

  • I totally agree with you. It is extremely saddening and heartbreaking to see that these kinds of tragedies can exist in our country. You are not alone. My children are also suffering from the flu over the past couple of weeks and I'm happy to keep them home today. I can't begin to imagine how any of those parents feel, or even the teachers who had to protect them in the middle of that tragic event. My condolences and prayers go out to the families, to the teachers, to all those who lost and gained. It is a sad time for our nation.

    I agree with you, banning guns is not the problem. Some of our Nation's most peaceful states are the ones who have the least strict gun laws. Something about knowing your neighbor can own a gun just like you makes your dealings with them a little more peaceful. It almost makes you feel like there was an agenda. The issue is not the NRA or guns, the issue is the people. How do we, as a nation of people, be proactive in our stance against violence.

    I hope you feel better and through the holiday and into the new year, that we all enjoy the time with our family and the blessings from God. Peace and serenity to you!

  • I know what you are saying. I agree with a lot of it. I am a teacher of K-2 students, and my heart is really broken over this. But I know we can't live in fear all the time. We mustn't let the madmen of this world control how we live our lives. We have to have courage and dignity. Are we to stop going to movies because someone shot up a theater? Are we to stop going to work because someone blew up the twin towers. Life itself is such a gamble, and we do need to take precautions, but if we don't live with courage, are we really living, or we cowering in fear? I have six kids, and I always want to protect them, never let them grow and move out, because then I lose control over their lives. That's what I want, but I know that they do grow up and leave, and I must have the courage to let them go with a smile and a "Good Luck!", because it is their turn. It is hard since your kids are so little, and you are totally responsible for them. But if you live in fear, you let THEM win (the bad guys).

  • I feel much like you do. This shooting still has me shaking my head and I can barely put my thoughts and feelings into words. I also believe that more gun control isn't the answer. The bad guy will always get the gun. I actually do homeschool my kids and the thought did cross my mind whether parents might change their minds about how to educate their kids. However, basing our decisions on fear is the wrong approach. I would avoid shopping in the mall - going to the movie theater etc... if I lived my life this way. I'm obviously pro homeschooling. I love it! Way less stress than sending the kids to school, but I hope parents don't sacrifice their kids education based on fear. *sigh* Unfortunately we live in a sick world - full of sickos who are out there with the potential to harm us and our families. The only hope that I have in all of this is Jesus.I don't need to be afraid of those that can kill the body only like it says in Matthew 28:10. I can rest in the fact that my soul is secure in Jesus Christ no matter what man does to my body. My prayer is that many come to know this truth, after being faced with this tragedy and eternity is on their minds.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Sometimes it helps just to write it out there and put feelings into words.

  • I feel the same way our babys are not safe at school anymore and people are killing eachother. Its not the guns its the people you cant trust anyone I just dont know whats going on in the world today but it makes me just want to hide away my family to keep them safe

  • The people that do evil things like this are cowards, that's why the go places where they don't expect to be stopped easily. It's is just sick and sad.

  • People who do evil things like that are cowards, that is why they go places where they don't expect to be stopped easily. Sick and sad.

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