So I got the book The 5 Love Languages for my wedding like 14 years ago and just finally got around to listening to the audio of it because I’m too lazy to read the book.With the audio I can walk around and do other things as I listen. I also read the five love languages of children and I probably should have read this 13 years ago because there’s a lot of things in there that I wish I would have realized in the beginning of my relationship with my husband and my kids so I need apologize to my kids and my husband for not taking the time to learn better from the beginning. Hopefully I have figured out some stuff too late for before any permanent damage has been done!
As I’ve said, many times before, I know that my mood definitely creates the entire mood in the home. For the most part for not just my kids but my husband as well. Something that I have noticed after my dad passed away is that I was really angry, and for a long time. Probably like 16-18 months. I noticed a change in my kids especially my son who I found out is very very sensitive and his love languages are words and touch and I was so short-tempered that I noticed that he was misbehaving more because my mood was rubbing off onto him. My daughter who is a preteen and hormonal anyway was also in a really bad mood, and way more than normal. This is just another reason to know that my mood is definitely creating their moods at an accelerated speed. My relationship with my husband was even getting rocky. He tried to be very compassionate, but even the strongest person has a hard time being around an angry person 24/7.
Since I figure this out, I have tried very hard to change my mood and think about what my mood is going to be for the day. I have changed my vitamins, I am eating cleaner and getting back into an exercise mode because all that helps with anger and grief and everything else. Getting back into my weight loss regimen has changed my mood a lot. I am a lot happier. Plus my kids enjoy this so much because they are working out with me and we are having fun.
I have been a lot calmer and I have noticed a BIG change around the house. My hormonal preteen is still a hormonal preteen but she’s been a little bit more bearable. We’ve been able to have more conversations and the yelling ventures had nearly left the home. My son has had better concentration and is getting in trouble less.
On the days I find myself heading down a terrible path I have to go to a space where I am alone and regroup. Whether this is a short 10-15 min. nap or just plain old sit on my bed in quiet and think about how I want the day to go time.
Either way, this has all changed the dynamics in the house. Also, my husband and I are on way better terms. We argue 90% less and we can have conversations with each other and even disagree without getting all mad.
The circumstances to learn this sucked. I wish for my dad back every day. However, I guess you could say that my Dad has helped me learn some healthy coping skills. Thanks Dad, I sure do miss you. Regardless of how it happened I am glad that I am now a smarter person and can realize this. Not every day is perfect but it least we have a lot more perfect days then we did before.
